Minor update from my last post, but so many people have been reaching out this is going to be my outlet for answering what is going on with my journey. First off, thank you to everyone who has reached out and sent their best wishes and prayers. It means the world. I’ve had so many people contact me to let me know they are going through the exact same thing but are just not as comfortable with being open. And that’s ok, that’s completely normal. If I can change just one persons life or just simply inform the uneducated out there on this process by being open, then its worth it.
To answer the main question, no I am not pregnant yet. Lol it doesn’t happen that quickly when you are going through the many stages of infertility. Each month means new tests, more blood work, etc. But today, I am happy to report that all testing is complete for Joe and I. This is a big deal. I have been in and out of doctors for the last 21 months. Most of the time it has been to an OBGYN office, so walking in and out of those offices and seeing the many pregnant women getting their prenatal care is very difficult and draining to see. It’s not that I’m not happy for them, but it’s hard to see, plain and simple. But then who am I to judge, maybe they went through the same heartbreak I’m going through. You truly don’t know anyone’s story and its not fair to assume it was easy for them either.
Last week I had tons of blood work taken. The infertility office needed updated info. I don’t even know what they are testing for half the time. All I know is they filled up about 6-8 tubes and I was on my way. Then today I had to go to Woodwinds Hospital to get an HSG test done. For those of you who don’t know what this is, its where they check your fallopian tubes to make sure they are not blocked. If they are blocked you can’t get pregnant obviously. I won’t go into detail on what they do during the test but its quick, easy, and uncomfortable 🙂 The doctors did warn me about this part, but before you get there you have to take a pregnancy test. They absolutely cannot perform this x-ray exam if you are pregnant so need confirmation. Let me tell you, there is nothing worse then taking a pregnancy test when you know for a fact your are 100% not pregnant. Heck I gave up on buying these over a year ago. I get the reasons why they have to do it, but how depressing, lets just rub it in a little bit more on why you are at the hospital this morning. After 5 minutes we had the results, they were able to confirm I was NOT pregnant. (thank you doctor, glad we got past that step). From there, I was brought back and the test was finished after about 10 minutes. “Well Laura, that didn’t take long, your tubes look wonderful and are working great.” Thanks again Doc, just more reason to wonder what the hell is happening with my body and question why its not doing what it should be. But In all seriousness, I’m glad nothing is wrong. It’s just hard to get any answers when everything looks great. But that’s why they call it unexplained infertility, there’s simply no explanation for it.
Now that all my exams have been completed we will sit down for our second consultation in the next two weeks. We will get to proceed with next steps. If our first procedure (less invasive and more cost friendly than in-vitro) doesn’t work then we will indeed go down the path of in-vitro. IUI’s only have a 7-9% chance of working. It’s really hard to keep a positive mindset when those are the percentages but on the other hand I have had a few friends who have gotten pregnant with going that route. We figure we might as well try and as I mentioned above it really is way less invasive and cheaper than in-vitro. I would hate to wonder what if by skipping this process. If it doesn’t work, of course I’ll be upset, but I’m not going to let it bother me too much. My doctor actually doesn’t even recommend it because of the low success rate. We have to try though, heck we’ve made it this far, why not try one more step before the big IVF.
For those of you who have asked how you can help, I’ll be taking my donations in prayers 🙂 Of course the bills suck, but this is a “choice” to go this direction. People suffering from terminal illnesses don’t have a choice. Those are the people who need your help. As I type that it is hard to see, because infertility isn’t a choice. We don’t choose to have this happen to us. We just choose to take the next steps so we can complete our families. Such a complicated situation it is, but we’ll get there. So thank you deeply from the bottom of my heart for all your support and concerns. If we do have to go the path of IVF, its another couple month wait. We will attend a seminar where they go over every detail of the process and all the expenses that go into it (which we already were informed of and thankfully know the exact amount we would need to hand over the day of the procedure). The cost is gut wrenching to think about, but we will literally do anything we can to give Payton a little brother or sister.
Today as I left the hospital, I actually envisioned myself a year from now walking out the same doors, but as a family of four. As a small ray of sunshine peeped through the clouds, I looked up and smiled. The end of this road is getting closer and brighter days are hopefully ahead.
What we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later.