On Oct. 30, two years to the day that we brought Owen home, I found the courage to walk down the pregnancy aisle at Target and pick up a test. I didn’t think that it could be true, but I told myself that if I was at Target that day I would pick one up. I ended up having to go there, because that morning Owen was in the Urgent Care being diagnosed with an ear infection and strep throat.
Owen and I got home from Target and I pulled out the test and ran upstairs. I let it sit out for quite a while before I went back. I did this all without Matt knowing. I didn’t want to get his hopes up if it wasn’t going to happen, so I did it on my own. I picked up the stick and could hardly believe what I was seeing. Was that really two lines? Two dark lines? I stared at it for a few minutes before I really believed it.
I could hear Owen, Matt, and Lucy downstairs playing (they were pretty much going crazy) and I walked up to Matt and asked him if he was ready to do it all again, and handed him the pregnancy test. I don’t think that was a fair question, because as parents I don’t think we’re ever really ready. Much of the time we live on faith, but my sweet husband hugged and kissed me and said, “YES”! Very confidently. And just like that our lives forever changed on that Sunday afternoon.
I really pondered how I wanted to share our news. I have been the girl on the other side the screen reading announcement after announcement with tears in my eyes and fear in my heart that it would never happen for us. It’s heart wrenching.
But, God pressed on my heart to share his message. He wanted me to share, so I can try and give someone hope that it will happen. It may happen in a way that you never expected or at time that you never expected, but God is working everything out for your good and he will come through.
While I was in the depths of my post-partum anxiety I never dreamed that less than a year later I would be sitting here writing to all of you sharing this wonderful news, but here I am. I truly believe that God had a plan all along. Many of the hardest things we go through in life bring about our greatest gifts and I believe that’s what this baby is for us.
Whatever you’re yearning for or striving for, I encourage you to give it over to God. I mean really give it over to him. Wipe your hands of trying to control, or change, or fix it and let Him go to work. He knows what’s best for you, and His plans are going to be greater than yours.
James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
I hope as you close 2016 you can reflect on wonderful moments and have hope for all of the new adventures that 2017 will hold for you and your family.
Blessings and love to you and your family.
Three items I’m grateful for:
- My sweet husband – I know I’m grateful for him a lot, but I don’t know who or where I’d be without him.
- My sweet friend, Laura, she has walked every step of this journey with me and now we get to start a new journey together!
- My heavenly Father.