Today has been a good day. I had a much needed lunch with one of my best friends. We have so much in common and value so many of the same things in life. We can go 8 weeks without seeing each other and pick up right where we left off. After lunch I went to a coffee shop to catch up on work. It’s so important to find some me time and even if it is me working alone at a coffee shop it’s time I need and value. I’m very lucky to have the flexibility to do that and never take it for granted.
Joe has a game tonight, if you’ve been following they have had a great season. I’m so proud of him. He puts so much time and effort into mentoring these kids. Every Monday-Friday he gets home at 8:30 due to late practice and if he has a game its more around 10pm. It can make for a long winter (on top of all my Wolves games), so to see him having success makes it so worth it. Payton and I are staying home tonight. I have a game tomorrow, she has gymnastics Thursday, and Joe has a game Friday. I have to remind myself I can’t be everywhere all the time. Staying home tonight will be good for us. Early to bed and time to update my blog.
The last month has been quiet, but necessary. I had to go on birth control for 4 weeks. Its a mandatory process before starting IVF – basically restarts your cycle and limits any cysts you could obtain from the drugs taken for the IUI (at least I think, ha). We scheduled our Program Start meeting and just completed that last Thursday. It was 4 hours long, no exaggeration, 4 hours. It started at noon and Joe nor I ate beforehand, horrible mistake, by 3:00 we were ravenous, and my stomach was growling through the entire meeting.
The first hour they take you through the finances and paperwork and you hand over your check to them. Joe actually worked with the girl many years ago from the business office who went over everything with us. She was worried when she saw our name and photo come across her paperwork as some patients are uncomfortable speaking with people they know about such a personal topic. At this point, most people know I’m an open book. My friend Jenna said to me today that maybe by me being so open about this journey its a means of therapy for me. Maybe it is- I’ve never looked at it that way. Needless to say, I felt the opposite. It was great to talk to someone who knew Joe. She has a 4 yr old girl and so we were able to chat about our girls.It was very comforting. The second hour I had to do some testing. They perform a trial transfer and look at your ovaries again to make sure all is clear. I was worried about this as you never know what can pop up from month to month. They did actually record that I have a slight polycystic appearance of ovaries on the ultrasound. Its nothing earth shattering, but could perhaps be causing some of the struggle to conceive naturally. Next we met our doctor who will perform the procedure. I loved him! The first thing he said when he walked in the room was wow Joe, how did you get so lucky?? I chuckled and knew right away I was going to like this guy. He met with us for a good hour explaining every step in detail of the ivf process. I’ve done my research and know plenty of others going through this so I understood for the most part, Joe on the other hand- his head was spinning. It truly is insane the science behind this and how far they have come. It was a great meeting and my mind was immediately put at ease knowing I would be in his hands. He’s been doing this for 30 years and could answer every possible question. He went over the statistics and I won’t even mention them. Even if I have an 80% chance, I know it can easily still not happen the first time so I don’t even want to think or talk to the statistics of it. Lastly- we met with another nurse who went over all the drugs I will be taking and how to inject them. This is the part that had my mind spinning. I don’t take any medications, occasionally some advil when I have migraines. Joe absolutely can’t stand needles so I know I’ll be doing all of this by myself. I’m fine with them, so hoping I get the hang of it after a day or two.
I started taking an estrogen pill this week as part of the prep. We will have a baseline ultrasound in a few weeks and that will determine if we will be given the go ahead. I also have a tentative retrieval date. It feels great to start seeing dates appear on paper and know that I could possibly have a baby in my hands by Christmas. I also know and realize that some people have to do 3 or 4 rounds of IVF before it works so I don’t want to get myself overly excited. This entire process can be grueling on your emotions – constant highs and lows. I have learned to celebrate every small step along the way. Whether that be an appt for an ultrasound or a basic one for a blood test. Each step in that clinic is a step closer to my end goal and so I will choose to celebrate that. If you only celebrate getting pregnant, then emotionally and physically, this journey would have ended a long time ago for me.
The next few months will be exciting and stressful. I’m going to make sure to do whatever I can to remove any immediate stress from my life. One reason for me staying home tonight – I truly need/want to rest my body. Being a full time working mom can take a toll. My job is not your typical 9-5 job. If its game day, I will work a 14 hour day and then come home to my second job. Do I choose to life this lifestyle- absolutely. I’m not complaining by any means, I love it and would never choose to stay home. That’s not me. I just know I need to take it a littler easier on myself in the weeks to come. Maybe I’ll watch making a murderer or include a little more Netflix in my life. I don’t watch much TV (other than the bachelor ;). There’s always something I can be doing.
That’s the update for now. Prayers are welcome and appreciated over the next 8 weeks as we embark on this journey. I know God is in full control of this situation and knows the ultimate plan. The message at church last week was so fitting…God does give you more than you can handle, what he doesn’t do, is give you more than He can handle. He’s leading me on a path I never imagined being on, but I know this journey serves a bigger purpose -there’s a bigger picture behind this and I’m slowly becoming a stronger & better me with each passing day. There’s no reason to walk this road alone and that’s why I choose to share my story. I hope others find comfort by reading this, even if its not infertility you may be facing – we all have battles in life and this just happens to be mine right now. I’m so grateful to those who have reached out, people are put into your life for a reason and I’m truly blessed for those I’ve met and reconnected with due to this journey.
Off to snuggle with my Payter…..!