The topic of change has been weighing on my heart for some time now. Change is something that is typically very hard on many people. A lot of times it is because with change there is also a lot of unknowns. I am no different than the majority and I too find change to be very hard.
Parenthood is by far the largest change that I have ever entered into. Even with the nine months of being pregnant, no one can ever prepare you for the amount of change that’s about to happen the second that sweet baby takes their first breath. All of a sudden there is a new life in your world that is going to become your whole world. There’s a new love to discover being a parent. There are so many amazing changes that comes with parenthood, but like everything in life there’s hard things too.
When I would dream about being a parent, I never really thought about how dramatically my life would change. Of course, I kept hearing the old saying, “sleep now, because you’ll never sleep again.” While that is very true for us (Owen is not a great sleeper) that is just the tip of the ice berg. I wish people would talk about the crazy love that you’re going to have for your child. Love that will make you worry about them all the time. A love that will change you and your spouse forever.
Becoming a mom changed who I was entirely. It changed my perspective on life, my body, my family, my relationship with Matt, my relationships with friends and family, and it also changed who I was even at work. Now I wasn’t only Jenna, but I was a working mom. I was holding down two full-time jobs and somewhere amidst all that change I was supposed to keep up with life and everything that comes with it.
Well, I’m human, and I think all the change, navigating parenthood, and honestly lack of sleep is what all really contibuted to my episode of postpartum. People continue to ask me how I’m doing. I’m so grateful that I’m surronnded by a support system who truly cares. I keep telling them that I feel a lot better than I did, but still not a 100 percent. That’s what got me thinking, my new 100 percent may be very different than my old 100 percent. And you know what, that’s OK.
The amount of change that I’ve endured the last two years is enough for a lifetime for me, but I know that’s not reality. Even from when I began this journey with postpartum, my support system has changed. I’ve had some people become more distant, while others have become very close friends to where I think of them as family. Am I sad that some of my relationships haven’t changed for the better? Of course, but I’m also learning that I have to accept where we are in the moment, just because it means it’s this way right now, doesn’t mean it will be even in a month.
I think I’ve made my point about change, and I think many people can relate. But, I want to leave you with this, your weight may change, your age will change (mine just went up this week), the color of your hair will change, friendships will change, kids will change and grow, but you know the one thing that isn’t going to change? The one thing that you can depend on to be your rock? Jesus. Jesus, has been my rock since the beginning of this journey. Even on the darkest days I knew he was with me and he’ll be with you too. Even though the unknown and change can be scary, we can take comfort in knowing that Jesus will always be with us. He’s working all things for our good. Our world is in desperate need of comfort right now. I hope that this message can bring a bit of that to you today.
Three items I’m grateful for:
– The change of the seasons. I love feeling that brisk air in the morning.
– Having the strength and courage to finish my first 10k race.
– My family and friends. I was reminded this week just how loved and lucky I truly am.