It’s about time. I may sound selfish, but this last year was tough. Sometimes I look back and wonder how I made it through everything I did. I know it is all part of my story and what lead us to where we are now, but today, I am just so thankful I could burst into tears!
Obviously as most know, this pregnancy has not been an easy one for me/us. I’m very thankful I wasn’t too sick this time around, but instead we dealt with other problems/risks much bigger than “morning sickness.” It really makes you realize that if the only thing you have to deal with in pregnancy is morning sickness, then heck, you have it pretty darn good. Early on in my pregnancy we learned my Placenta was covering my cervix. My doctor was very hopeful it would move up and out of the way as my uterus continued to grow. At 20 weeks, it was still in the way which I was bummed about. I really want to avoid a scheduled C-section if at all possible. On top of that we learned baby was measuring pretty big, which if he stayed on that track along with my placenta previa issue, we would definitely have to go C-section route as a 10 pound baby would have not been fun in that situation. Lastly at our 20 week appt, we learned of a bright spot on the baby’s heart. The heart was/is operating perfectly normal but the ultrasound tech warned us this is a soft marker for Down-Syndrome. The minute she said it she could see the concern in my eyes. My heart dropped and I could feel myself getting all sweaty. Poor Payton was with us as we thought it would be fun for her to come along and see the baby. Here I was trying to stay calm and not think too much in that moment. The tech did do a good job of reassuring us this is an extremely soft marker for it, but that she was obligated to tell us. She explained how most of the time when they see this, the result is a completely healthy baby. I remember driving to work following the appt. just thinking about the what if’s. Then I remembered, it’s not going to change a thing or way we feel about this little miracle boy, so I tried putting my mind in a better state and placing it all in God’s hands instead. I knew he was going to create the perfect child that was meant for us. The tech recommend at 28-30 weeks we do another follow up ultrasound to check on all these items of concern! Needless to say, the last 6 weeks have been a little worrisome for me having all these what if’s in the back of my mind.
Today, at 29 weeks exactly, we had our follow up appt. Unfortunately with my experience, I don’t get to look forward to these. Of course it is amazing to get to see baby J, but the anxiety leading up to these appts. for me is quite frightening. I am always thinking, ok what are they going to find today that may be another concern or cause of worry for me. What if, What if, What if. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about those feelings. Much to our surprise, we ended up getting a PERFECT report back! We were able to meet with my OB following the ultrasound and I think she was just as excited as we were not to have to deliver more bad news. This poor doctor has had to deal with all of my trauma in the last year so it’s almost is if this was a celebration for her too! My placenta is now 2.75cm away from my cervix (it must be 2cm to deliver vaginally). She said it should even continue to move up more as I’m only going to keep getting bigger 😉 So no more follow up needed there! Next, the baby is only measuring about a week ahead and in the 65% percentile now, weighing in at 3.2 pounds. YAY, he is on track and I no longer have to fear pushing out an 11 pound baby! Lastly, the bright spot on the baby’s left ventricle was GONE! She could not see any signs of it anymore and thinks the little guy already outgrew it. No more ultrasounds are needed and I am a perfect candidate again for a vaginal birth. Amazing, GOD is GOOD.
I literally can’t explain the joy and excitement that was put into my heart this morning. I’m really hoping I can just enjoy these last 10-12 weeks of carrying this little guy knowing that the Lord is truly watching over me. It’s been such a long,windy, and heartbreaking road, and to think our family will be complete in just a few months melts my heart. 3 years of agony and infertility, ER trips, stabbing myself in the stomach everyday, hormonal side effects, tears upon tears – all coming to an end. I can’t wait to capture the thousands of emotions we will be feeling when we get to meet him. We deserve this. Payton deserves this. And I’m so glad we never gave up.
Saved the best for last…a few blurry face shots of Baby Janquart and a shot of his big foot just like his Sisters 🙂
Thank you all for your continued support and prayers!