Again, four simple words. These four words came to me through Hillary Scott’s new song, “Thy will.” I was driving to therapy and I was actually scolding myself for opening up and giving myself a voice on this blog. I was feeling regret and shame. I thought that by sharing it with my close friends and family people might start thinking of me differently, or act differently around me.
Hillary came on the radio and explained how this song is her letter to God and was written at her most vulnerable state of her entire life. She went onto share that it is and was scary sharing something so personal, but she has gained healing by sharing her words with others. Healing has come by helping others going through hard times and by recieving unconditional support.
Another “God moment.”
I was stopped in my tracks and continued to contemplate what she had said. At this time, I hadn’t even heard the song she was referencing. It of course was played after the interview, and I instantly got goosebumps. I highly recommend taking a listen. It’s absolutely beautiful.
In the last two days, I have had two different people come to me and tell me how honest and raw my blog is. I truly have never thought of it that way. I just thought I was sharing my story to the best of my ability and that I have finally found my voice. I feel like Hillary gained her voice through this song. I immediately connected with her emotion, passion, and these four words.
“Thy will be done.”
I often wondered, especially on my darkest days, why? Why was I walking through this dark valley that seemed to have no light. Did I deserve it? Did I do something wrong? Why? I would cry this out to the Lord over and over. Of course, I don’t know why, but I can find peace in these four words.
God works all things for our good. Even the things that we think are the worst things that could ever happen, He sees the big picture and he’s piecing it all together. He’s going to use this pain to do something greater through me, if only I obey that “inner voice.” Fear has crept in over and over through this journey and even though I’m getting stronger, fear is still there.
It’s time to let go of the fear and step out with faith knowing that God will be here to catch me. If anyone is contemplating a decision and you’re hearing that “inner voice” nudging you in some direction, even if it doesn’t make sense, I challenge you to take the leap. You will not fall.
Three items I’m thankful for:
– Finding my voice
– Having courage to do things that scare me
– Runs around Lake Harriet